Hello all. Checking in with a few updates. Michelle and I are considering a move to North Carolina. The price of housing in Florida is downright oppressive. An example: we almost closed on a "coach home" (read: apartment) in Parkland a few months ago. 1400 square feet, one floor, one car garage, master bedroom was 15x14. Price: $389,900. Luckily, we backed out.

So, North Carolina is looking great. For $400K, we can get a mansion. We only really need to spend like $200K, though, and then Mich can "retire", or more specifically, we can kick off the family thing. The schools are much better there than in Florida, and the in-state schools aren't bad (Chapel Hill, anyone?).

So we'll see. I digress.

Here is a songlist from my recent listening:
1.) "One Foot Down" by Peter Bradley Adams
2.) "Gentle Moon" by Sun Kil Moon
3.) "We are nowhere and its now" by Bright Eyes
4.) "Home" by Michael Buble
5.) "Different" by Acceptance
6.) "Good Ol' Love" by Masta Ace
7.) "The Scientist (Live)" by Aimee Mann (originally by Coldplay)
8.) "One of these Things First" by Nick Drake
9.) "Such Great Heights" by Iron and Wine (originally by Postal Service)
10.) "Carry My Ohio" by Sun Kil Moon

Enjoy!
posted by Rich at 10:01 AM Comments

 
And the award goes to.....

A few months ago I commented that I thought that Ryan Adams was the coolest person in the world. Now, when I say cool, I don't mean cool...I mean overhyped and mysterious...yeah, he's a very versatile musician (the last album was a big Smiths ripoff, two albums ago sounded like his old Whiskeytown alt-country stuff, three albums back sounded very John Mellencamp/Travis).


What a sexy man!

Well, let's look at another pop rock phenom, who I might need to give the new Coolest Person award to. John Mayer. This guy started gaining notoriety for a series of mp3's which were from one-man acoustical live jams. He's really a genius on the guitar, and his vocal impressions of Dave Matthews (which come out on, oh, every song or so) are dead on. He even plays a Dave Matthews signature-series Martin guitar. Well, basically, the industry got ahold of his balls, because every song that goes out over the airwaves has been looped up, sped up, and spruced up. Electric guitars, little synthesizer tweaks, and, of course, very evenly timed percussion.

Right around the time this all started to leak out, Mich and I went to a Counting Crows/John Mayer concert. Would you believe the smug bastard had the audacity to make the Crows play first? Boy needs to learn some respeck! Anyway, the teenage girls in front of us knew every word to "Yellow Taxi", though no idea that it was a Joni Mitchell song (or who she was, for that matter). When John Mayer and his backup band came on, their shrieking was so loud, that we couldn't even enjoy the show. We left after the third song. The writeup in the paper the next day basically lampooned Mayer, saying that he should take a lesson in live showmanship from the Crows, who always deliver.

Well, I still liked the guy after that, so I did what any fan would do: tried to pirate some more of his stuff off the net. In doing a Kazaa search (remember Kazaa from way back when?), I found too interesting titles: Kid A and Karma Police...turns out Johnny Boy likes to cover Radiohead songs....badly...these are horrible renditions of what were both musical masterpieces. Maybe he'll remake Stairway next. Or Whiter Shade of Pale. Or, could it be Help! ?



posted by Rich at 10:02 AM Comments

 
And while I think about it, the top ten list of songs for January 2005:

1.) "Courage" by Glen Phillips
2.) "Be Careful" by Mutual Admiration Society
3.) "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz
4.) "What do you hear in these sounds?" by Dar Williams
5.) "This Corrosion" by Lambchop
6.) A mix of the drum beat from Let's Get Started (Radio Edit) with the lyrics from Let's Get Retarded (album version), by the Black-Eyed Peas
7.) "Ghetto Gospel" by 2Pac and Elton John
8.) "Bonfire" by Lamb
9.) "Hovering" by Beulah
10.) "Shattered" by Remy Zero

No particular order, by the way.


posted by Rich at 11:39 AM Comments

 
Let's talk midlife crisis. I'm 25, but I still dress like I'm 16, listen to rap, and generally act like a moron. In the spirit of funny email exchanges, here is one that went on a few months ago.

Michelle writes:
"Um, paycheck should go in tonight I believe. Fit-on-you is the tailor. Unfortunately, it was like 22 bucks to get my Burberry skirt taken in. I know it sucks but I just love that skirt and now I will be able to wear it again. Please don't be mad. I love you. And I didn't pay 2 bucks to put I'm a P-I-M-P on my cell phone :)"

To which I replied:

"Mich,
I'm thinking about changing that ringer to something a little more growns-up. The pimply-faced teenagers at Best Buy laughed at my balding self when the phone rang in the store yesterday.
Rich"

And she wrote back:
"Seriously? Did they really?"

To which I replied:
"No really, they did."

I now have "Drop it like its Hot" by Snoop Dogg.

posted by Rich at 11:36 AM Comments

 
Here is another zany email, about Michelle's ancient cadre of evening-wear:

"Grey Tanktop, nightwear to "America's Next Top Model" Michelle Martin, died today. She was 20 years old. Tanktop, a frequent contributor to Ms. Martin's evening wardrobe, had apparently been ailing from overuse and old age. Upon discovering Tanktop in the bottom of the dryer with one of her shoulder straps tattered, Martin's fiance Rich Gunther attempted to revive her, but alas, he failed. Tanktop is survived by two siblings, Tattered Cleveland Browns Shirt and Dad's Old High School Reunion Smock. A private memorial service was immediately held for Tanktop, and she was buried in the garbage can with all the dog poop bags. A memorial fund has been set up, called the "Buy Michelle Some New F-in Pajamas Fund"."

Michelle's reply to this email was as follows:

"Is this an active fund? Because the proceeds could be very useful!"

To which I replied:

"Michelle,
Actually, it was set up as a conditional trust. The principal, unfortunately, was rolled over into an IRA. All of the holdings in that IRA were subsequently sold to finance the "Michelle's Pre-Wedding Shopping Spree Fund". The remaining balance in the account is thus 37 cents, a piece of chewing gum, and a wad of pocket lint. Should I have this transferred to your offshore account?

Rich"

Lively banter is cool!

posted by Rich at 11:29 AM Comments

 
Every once in a while, I pen a rather funny email, and send it around to everyone. Since the only other thing I could possibly blog about at this point would be work, I decided to post this instead. Enjoy:

"Gentlemen,
Thought you might enjoy this little anecdote, though to do so would be laughing at me, not with me. Satire is good on Mondays, I have found.

A disclaimer before I continue: Michelle's mother Jan, who we are very lucky to have taken up residence with, is a great person. Very easy to talk to, a great baker and cook, and, as those who have met her can attest, quite a looker.

A few years back, in perhaps one of the most nostalgic gestures I've yet experienced, my Dad passed on his beloved Schneider Weisse beer glass to me. I can only conjecture that he procured this treasure while living in Germany, which places its age at anywhere between 22-25 years. Over the past years, I have taken care of this glass in the same manner that one might polish an urn of their Great Aunt Miltie's ashes. I've lovingly avoided abrasive sponges and harsh detergents. I've kept it on the highest shelf, away from prying fingers who might try to pour a mere ale or other inferior draught into it.

I've been duly rewarded for my diligence with years of frothy, thick Hefe-Wiezen from this most worthy of vessels. On Saturday last, I endeavored to procure some of my favorite Hefe-Wiezen, the Tucher Kristall Wiezen. I've been able to source this on many occasions from my local ABC Liquor (which I have nicknamed the American Booze College).

After bringing home a few of the typical large format bottles of Tucher, I quickly began pouring in the manner proscribed by Richard, Sr.: putting the glass upside-down over the bottle, and slowly turning it over, holding the neck of the bottle just under the level of the liquid. When the head reached the half-liter mark inscribed on the side of the glass, I stopped pouring, but took special care to set the bottle aside. Later I could come back and indulge in the extra sediment and beer that had collected at the bottom of the bottle. We used to call this "Last Sips" when I was a child, and I was always entitled to at least a half share of these, splitting them with brother Phil. (The fact that this occurred when I was only, oh, five years old, may explain my current alcoholic predicament).

On Saturday night, I watched my dear Florida Gators fall victim yet again to poor coaching, and being a few too many Tucher's to the wind, passed out, leaving my dear glass on the kitchen counter.

Going to the kitchen today to fetch my glass, I did not find it where it should be: on a very high shelf.

Instead, it was in a cabinet where we keep other barware, and immediately I knew. I could see my shiny balding head in the shiny reflection coming off of it, which had a very interesting "funhouse hall of mirrors" quality to it. Gone were the years and years of discoloration at the bottom of the glass from countless nights of wheat sediment collecting there. The paint on the Schneider logo gleamed like a diamond, having been subjected to a ruthless onslaught of Cascade and hot water. I nearly screamed, but thought that the best therapy for my fallen friend would be to drown it in beer as expediently as possible. Luckily, when I checked the fridge, there was a lone Franciskaner in the very back. Not my ideal choice, but I went with it anyway. As I poured it, I thought I could hear the bubbles in the beer screaming as they met their demise at the hands of the detergent residue which had taken up residence where they once had frolicked unabated.

Alas, the tears that fell into the glass at the sight of this abomination were not strong enough to counteract the damage done. I can only come to one conclusion: Jan must die.

Take this as a warning, gentlemen: if you value anything sacred in life, keep the women away from the barware.

Hope all is well with all of you, and I'm looking forward to seeing you all in Vegas, where we will undoubtedly hold a wake for my glass over a few cold ones!
Cheers!
Rich
P.S. To all Martins copied on this email, it's a joke!"



posted by Rich at 11:26 AM Comments

 
My dog is a genius. Besides his ability to perform aerial stunts and other circus tricks (no really), he is a big chewer. We've had to get him the "Galileo" bone, which is designed for Rottweilers, Mastiffs, Pitbulls, etc. We can actually pick him up by it, his bite is so strong.

When he gets to chewing, though, he is all about leverage. He usually tries to get us to hold the bone while he chews, or props himself up against a door. That "lack of opposable thumbs" really gets to him. He has recently come up with another trick to get leverage, completely of his own accord: Michelle's shoes:


posted by Rich at 9:45 AM Comments

 
Today's Topic: Judaism.

For those of you who know me, you know I've been practicing Judaism for about three years, inasmuch as Michelle's family practices. Back in November, I started taking the "Introduction to Judaism" class over at Temple Beth-El, a quaint little synogogue in East Boca known for its mausoleum. The Rabbi, an Australian woman, has compiled a curriculum encompassing Jewish law, history, tradition, and spirituality. I force Michelle to attend every week, which she does. We call it "Jew School.".

What most of you don't know is that I was once a staunch Catholic. Yep. I went to Catholic School. I was president of my Youth Group. I not only attended church retreats, I helped to plan and administer them. I read the second reading at Sunday Mass. My involvement was untethered...I spent days discovering my spirituality, blah blah blah. I even considered entering the seminary out of high school. Nevermind that Father (insert Irish name here) had a keen interest in "meeting me for a racquetball match". Forgive the fact that I never agreed with the Church's stance on abortion, birth control, premarital sex, homosexuality, war, etc. Don't pay attention to the fact that my parents, while being good people, were not the every-Sunday-to-Mass type.

Judaism came into my life when Michelle and I started dating. I had dated Jewish girls before her, but never considered or learned about the faith. I gave it a try. You know what got me? The FOOD! Bagels, lox, whitefish salad, paprikash, gefilte fish, sardines. Even the middle-eastern foods like schwarma and falafel. And lots of it. I refer to the Martins as hobbits, because they like to eat and drink and not do much of anything. :-) I soon absorbed this mentality, and started celebrating life, family, faith, and my newfound belly.

Not to say that I didn't dig the religion. The Reform Judaism (think "Jew Lite") stance on the so-called "life issues" reads something like "sure, whatever". Eat, drink, and be merry. Holidays are celebrated with families. Prayers are said out loud, together. There is no quiet time with God. Faith is on your tongue, not in your heart. It is not enough for a Jewish person to just feel something, they have to talk about it, share it with someone. Its very altruistic and social.

So, next week, after toiling through 18 weeks of Jew School, I will be done. I then have to go in front of the Grand Poobah Council of Rabbis (I feel like a Jedi...ah yes, young paduwan), and tell them how Jewish I am. Then they throw me in the ocean three times, we say some prayers, and then its back to eating, drinking, and being merry.

P.S. They asked me if I was circumcised when I first embarked on this journey. Yikes!!! (but graciously, I'd like to send a BIG thank you to my Mom and Dad for taking care of that at birth!)
posted by Rich at 3:24 PM Comments

 
You all know what I'm gonna say. Wow, its been SOOO long since I've blogged. And it has. Over the past six months or so, a lot has happened. Michelle has left Ernst and Young. Ovo Studios has become "mega-Ovo Studios". The dog has been very sick, but is now coming along smashingly. We've been jet-set on weekends, hitting such garden spots as Cleveland, Boston, and New York. To even it out, we're crashing Vegas in two weeks. Wedding planning is nearly done, with only floral, room layout, and Michelle's hair left on the to-do list.

We decided on a honeymoon locale. We're going to Hawaii, staying on Kona for five days at the Four Seasons, and then staying in Maui for six days, at, well, the Four Seasons. Wow, some of you may not know about the wedding. Its in Vegas, October 30th, at, well, the Four Seasons. We have definitely found our favorite hotel chain.

We found a house we really love down here, in a new neighborhood in Boynton Beach. Home prices are skyrocketing lately, so the price keeps going up and up, while our savings account balance keeps going down and down! We'll have to see how that turns out.

Music recommendations for March:
1.) "Volcano" by Damien Rice
2.) "Blue Glass Fall" by David Poe
3.) "Distortions" by Clinic
4.) "Teenage Angst" by Placebo
5.) "Gene Autry" by Beulah
6.) "Let it Fall" by Sean Watkins and Glen Phillips
7.) "Baby Now That I've Found You" by Allison Krauss
8.) "Soulshine (live with Tim Reynolds" by Government Mule
9.) "So Much Wine" by Handsome Family
10.) "City On Down" by O.A.R.

I swear I'll post again tomorrow...maybe with something funny.
posted by Rich at 9:38 AM Comments

 
So Michelle is out of town in Atlanta for the week for training. Turns out that she is most likely going to spending the next four weeks in Naples. This is all well and good for my focus on my work, but it also means I have four weeks with the in-laws and the dogs. Again, this alone is not bad, but repetitive stress, no matter how minor, is always a problem at some point.

Scott and I are getting along smashingly business-wise. Former colleague Mike Bates is toeing the line for us at Intuit, and our hooks are in at Accenture and various other venues. Should make for a very nice year. We have been having some great brainstorming meetings, and I'm happy that I've been able to turn my full attention to it now that school is over.

Bilbo went to the vet the other day. He has a bad infection and a lame paw. One need antibiotics, the other needs surgery. Fun and expensive.

Got my final grades from CMU. Cumulatively I got a 3.88. Not bad for not trying too hard. I think I stayed true to myself the whole year, learned more than I expected to, and made some great friends and colleagues. Well worth the 45K.
posted by Rich at 10:21 PM Comments